and that bitch is me

That’s right, big daddy Goggle lured me in with his smooth talk and promises of ad revenue. He told me that all I had to do was provide a little room for his friends and he would treat me right. Before I knew what was happening, my innocent little corner of the interwebs was crammed full of strangers, peddling their services and wares. Now my father cries at night.

Actually, this is more of an experiment than anything. Google offers a service called Adsense that pays you for allowing them to advertise on your site. These things are everywhere. Anytime you see a “Ads by Google” logo, the site is using Adsense. I’ve heard that Adsense is like crack. Once you try it, you start obsessing over it. You dump endless hours into tweaking your ad formats and placement. You try to dupe your users by disguising them as actual content. This whole time Google trickles a little revenue your way. Not enough to compensate you for the time you have invested, but just enough to keep you addicted. Well, that is what I’ve heard.

So, how much will Goggle pay you to turn tricks for them? Well, that is a tricky question itself (hah, wordplay). When I first went to the Adsense page, I was informed that there are two types of ads; those that pay per click (CPC) and those that pay per 1000 impressions (CPM). The rates were not disclosed. To see rate information, I had to sign-up for an account. A few clicks of the mouse later and I am ready to be turned out.

Now it’s time to see what I can earn. Wrong. Google never tells how much revenue a particular ad brings in. Instead, they tell you how many clicks and impressions have occured and the resulting revenue. They divide the revenue over the number of impressions and extrapolate the value of 1000 (eCPM). Of course, before you can see any of this information, you have to start hoin’.

Once you start bringing in some dough, Google does provide a nice assortment of tools that let you see exactly how much your used up ass is worth. The biggest downside I see with their reporting is that both CPM and CPC revenue is used to surmise eCPM. Why does this matter? The first time I logged in to check my Adsense earnings, I had a couple dozen impressions and one click. All of my earnings were from the one click (I am not allowed to disclose actual earnings). This made my eCPM look fantastic since Google took the click’s revenue and divided it over my pittance of impression. Daddy loves me. Now that the ads have been up for a couple days, I have had several hundred more impressions. SinceI have not had any additional clicks, that same amount is now divided over all these new impressions. My eCPM is now garbage.

So, now that I’ve explained how everything works; what exactly is the experiment? Is it whether or not I can profit from Adsense? No. My experiment is in the human condition. I am a reasonably intelligent person. I know what my time is worth. But, now that Goggle has dangled the carrot; how much of it will i fritter away at a net loss, trying to increase my revenue? How deceitful will I become with my ad integration? Will I end up human garbage? The experiment has begun.

Cheers!
Kevin